We can work it out Me time If youve just been diagnosed with arthritis, you may find it hard to cope withyour own feelings and the reactions of others around you. So whats thebest way forward? words: WenDy DavieS anD kim DeaSy W hile it might feel like your life has been turned upside down, finding out that youve got arthritis doesnt mean that everything has to stop. However, you are likely to need to make some adjustments, both physically and emotionally. Talking to people about arthritis is the first step especially as some people may not know how to broach the topic themselves. The relationship between you and your partner may change as you adjust to your condition and the alterations this brings to your routine. Be open with your partner about how arthritis affects you and different parts of your life. Give them some Arthritis Care booklets to read through (see arthritiscare.org.uk/resources) so that they are fully informed. Barrys story more info Coping with emotions Working your way through more difficult emotions means that you might feel emotionally stronger and better equipped to cope with other events that life may throw at you. Many people feel more empowered and determined as a result of their arthritis, and feel that they are more able to stand up for themselves. Others say they gain a better understanding of the issues faced by disabled people and those living with longterm medical conditions. It feels very positive to accept your arthritis. Until that point, you may feel as though you are fighting against it. But it does, of course, take time. There are many coping strategies to help you deal with your emotions, and those of people around you. Set aside some time each day to strengthen yourself mentally and prepare for the next day, and have a conversation with those closest to you about your arthritis. Accept that youll have good days and bad days. However, there are a few simple ways you can beginthe process of accepting and adjusting to yourcondition. think positive If you view the glass as half full rather than half empty, youre able to control your emotions much better. Thinking negatively will only magnify any emotional problems you may already have, which can have a knock-on effect to those around you. Be determined Life is about living. Focus on what you can do, not what you cant. To help yourself get the best out of life, you could: Adapt the way you do things Ask for help, whether practical or financial Ask questions, and gather as much information as you can Build good relationships with the health professionals treating you have a giggle Seeing the funny side of life will help you to release tension and can help distract you from the pain of arthritis, or anything else thats bothering you. Doing this with your partner can strengthen the bond between you. set yourself goals This is a good way to help you look to the future. You could set a short-term goal such as reading a book by your favourite author, or a long-term goal like planning a holiday with your partner or by yourself. By making sure that your goals are realistic and positive, you will be giving yourself something to achieve every day. treat yourself Theres nothing wrong with a little pampering to remind yourself that nice things do happen and that you deserve them. learn to relax This is really valuable, as it helps to relieve the kind of stress and tension in our lives that can sometimes be magnified by arthritis. Everyone has a different way of relaxing, so explore options and find one that works for you . Check out our new booklet, Arthritis and Emotions, due out in January 2017. Call our free helpline on 0808 800 4050 for a copy, or to chat. Barrys story Barry started experiencing knee problems shortly before he was due to retire. By 2011, he had to give up work because of the pain. He has since had a double knee replacement, which helped him to regain his active lifestyle. When I was first diagnosed, I was worried about what it would mean. I also thought Why me? Ive always been active, but Ive got type 2 diabetes and knee problems all things that I thought lazy people get. I was also quite annoyed. At first, I was a nightmare to live with. Im not someone who likes to talk about feelings, so I bottled a lot of things up. Between my first steroid injection (which had a shortterm benefit) and the first operation, Id made no progress. I was stuck indoors, I couldnt work and I was walking with a stick. I couldnt see a way forward. I enjoyed cycling, but wasnt able to do it before I had the operations. I love being active, so it was really frustrating. It also caused problems with my partner. He could see what I was struggling with but, even if I was in pain, I would deny it. He still had to go to work, but tried to support me as much as possible, coming home every lunchtime to check that I was OK. My advice to others would be to talk about how youre feeling. Its an illness you havent done anything wrong. You and the people close to you know its a life-changing thing, even if other people dont fully understand.
