All Zoom and gloom? Our resident Old Git, Ian Frow, on uniform, satellites, and his pessimistic crystal ball T he past three meetings of The Log Board have, inevitably, been Zoomed. The December meeting is always combined with a minor celebration of Christmas. At last years Zoomed celebration, Board members appeared in their idea of Christmas attire above the waist and who knows what lower down? So very different from previous years. An additional effect of COVID-19 and Zooming has been the acceleration of change in dress standards. That set OG musing about uniforms, then and now. Uniform authority Passenger behaviour during evacuations after recent accidents and incidents illustrates the way in which attitudes to the authority of uniformed crew members have changed. Ignoring orders, many passengers have delayed evacuation by retrieving their possessions in the overhead lockers. In a Russian accident, this caused the death of many in the rear of the aircraft, who just could not move forward. In the immediate post-war period, airline uniforms were very military in style, even for the female crew members. Climbing into a uniform was like putting on a suit of armour, and those around you, with wartime discipline, deferred to directions. The general public was far more deferential than today. Maybe todays attitudes are better, society has moved on and, quite properly, people are more prepared to question authority. But in challenging situations, this can be lethal. Imperial leftovers Until the early 1960s, BOAC management worried about the delicate brains of aircrew being fried by the equatorial sun. They devised removable white cap covers linen affairs with elasticated edges. These were to be worn in summer in the northern hemisphere and, at the captains discretion, on tropical routes. Woe betide those who could not find a cover in the bottom of their briefcase on the captains command. When cap covers were finally abandoned, they served as very useful protection when painting a ceiling. Also in the 60s, there were certain parts of the former British Empire where station staff would line up in a smart row on the gate to greet the aeroplane on arrival. At some Indian stations, the Raj influence lived on, and they would actually salute. How things have changed! When the mighty BOAC Britannia taxied in at Kano, in northern Nigeria, it was greeted by a man, on a camel, blowing an impossibly long trumpet something to do with completing a successful Sahara crossing. When the mighty BOAC Britannia taxied in at Kano, in northern Nigeria, it was greeted by a man, on a camel, blowing an impossibly long trumpet One of us The eulogies to Prince Philip listed his many talents, but very few noted the fact that he was a very competent and experienced pilot. He had just less than 6,000 hours in his logbook, and some of those hours were quite demanding flying. Here is one (possibly apocryphal) Prince Philip aviation story. He was accompanying the Queen on an official visit to a European destination with a rather challenging runway. The landing, by the distinguished (but out of practice) management pilot, was a very firm test of the undercarriage. As the royal party was disembarking, Prince Philip poked his head around the flight deck door and said: Thank you Captain. If you are still looking for that runway, you should find it six inches up my a**e. Into space from Prestwick As part of its interest in space, Virgin Orbit has been experimenting with launching satellites via a rocket, carried to altitude under the port wing of a Boeing 747. The launch sounds quite exciting, as it involves the 747 pitching up and breaking hard-right immediately after the launch. One possible site for this interesting activity is Prestwick airport. Would those BOAC/BA pilots who did their training wresting a 747 around the circuit there always in a crosswind have ever dreamt of such a use for dear old Fat Albert? Old Git equals Old Misery? Following the decline in aviation after 9/11, traffic bounced back vigorously and, by the mid-noughties, there were some very fanciful forecasts of future expansion. In 2007, Old Gits alter ego, Ian Frow, wrote a long Log article detailing the rise and fall of various transportation systems. Starting with the stagecoach, the article listed transport systems including the canals, railways, transatlantic liners and event-bus services. The title was Nothing expands forever this was the last paragraph: The events of September 2001 demonstrated both the vulnerability and the resilience of our industry. It is always dangerous to use past rates of growth to justify assumptions of future expansion. History indicates that, in transportation, hubris and excessive expansion are always followed by decline and (eventually) reinvention and retrenchment. Will civil aviation be any different? Will it beat the historical precedents and really be twice as big in 2027 or even 2037? There are serious grounds for doubt. Nothing expands forever. For sale: One accurately pessimistic crystal ball.