Has the time come to stop making excuses and figure out some realistic process-driven goals? By Captain Karen Speight, Log Board member Unless it is currently the first week of January, Im hazarding a guess that your new years resolutions might be a distant hazy memory, lost in the same foggy tip of the tongue brain space as that word you cant quite remember. Ah yes, motivation. That was the one. This year, you were More Determined Than Ever, driven by something attention-grabbing perhaps the curvaceous bulge that was once your waistline and its resemblance to a spacehopper. This year, you Would Not Fail. The fags went in the bin, the booze got locked in your private nuclear bunker (you cant be too careful), and the gym membership was so eyewateringly expensive that you will definitely go at least once. You signed up for Dry January, Fag-free February, Give-Meat-a-Miss March and Atkins April. Yet, just a few weeks in, a guilty half-smile and change of conversation deftly avoids any enquiries as to how it is going Until next year, when the Christmas jumper splits at the seams and that new Daylight Robbery gym opens. From resolutions to high-performance goals Simply resolving to take action does not give you power to transform Is all hope gone? Absolutely not. However, simply resolving to take action (no matter how hard you close your eyes and wish) does not give you power to transform. Im passionate about us humans understanding our brains better, so lets discuss a few ways we can work with them, not against them. Take the average Reliant Robin of new years resolutions I want to be more organised. Or, even worse, Im going to be healthy. This is, frankly, a disservice to the Robin, which is far more reliant than this type of nebulous goal. What do you mean by organised? How are you going to measure your health? After the tune up to get down to the specifics, this type of results goal is useful in describing your desired outcome, but limited. With overall progress at a snails pace, its far too easy to lose motivation and give up. Lets move up to Audi A3 level. Where do you need to be after a week, a month, six months? The way our brains are wired means motivation is easy when we see an immediate pay-off, and much more difficult when the returns are long term. Scoffing one deep-fried candy bar has immediate sensory rewards and isnt a direct threat on its own, but the cumulative, highly negative, effects on your life are hard to pair, Pavlovian style, with the enticing sugary, fatty aroma from the chip shop. Regular tyre checks and services en route can help keep your focus on your overall performance. Finally, we need to add an Aston Martin DB9 to the fleet accelerate from 0-60 in a few seconds by focusing on process not results. What, exactly, are the behaviours it will take to achieve your goal? What could, potentially, stop you? Do you have a plan for how to get round the obstacles? There is a daily sense of achievement if you can put a big tick next to 20 minutes of tidying up or sticking to your calorie intake each evening. The results will naturally follow. If youve stuck to the plan but done your calculations wrong, you can review your progress at one of your performance tune-ups and adjust as necessary. No more resolutions In 2001, I rashly resolved never to make any NY resolutions ever again which, you will notice, was a NY resolution in itself. Undeterred by this tenuous logical position, I began annual goal setting across different areas of my life, working out the process I needed and monitoring my progress. Experimenting shamelessly on myself, Ive learnt a huge amount about what works and what doesnt around goal setting and the practicalities of making it happen. During lockdown, while others (I wont mention their names*) were watching Netflix with a pint or three of wine, I trained for a Diploma in Transformational Life Coaching and set up Ajet Life coach (www.ajetlife.com) because I strongly believe in peoples ability to change their thinking and habits. Transformational coaching is a supportive, powerful technique to help you make mindset and behavioural breakthroughs. Are you ready? Do yourself a favour be happy with the odd B grade and avoid the self-sabotage Take that common excuse Im not ready. Or, as it is otherwise known, procrastination. Ah, how I have struggled with this myself. Im sure I have a PhD on procrastination in me, but Ive been putting it off. What would it take for you to actually be ready? Sit down and ask yourself, because if you can get to the bottom of this you will understand whats holding you back. If you are reluctant to do that, then sit down and ask yourself why that is. If that seems impossible, then start by sitting down just start somewhere for goodness sake. I dont feel ready is not an excuse. Its a trap called emotional reasoning. Sneak up and surprise yourself before you feel ready, then see what happens. Procrastination is often about perfectionism. Other people might be worthy of B+ and C-, but only your own performance can meet your exacting criteria for the extremes of A++ or F-: 100% is graded the former, and anything else the latter. Scoring a mere 98% becomes an excuse for total annihilation because it Wasnt. Good. Enough. The danger is that the next thought will be well, as Ive already failed completely, I may as well screw it up royally and enjoy myself in the process. Next thing, youve downed six pints, smoked the entire pack and the ice-cream tub is a casualty of all-out war. Is eating a few bites of cake or having one fag actually total failure? Do yourself a favour be happy with the odd B grade and avoid the self-sabotage. Shift your mindset Generally, people find it difficult to cut their losses once theyve started something. Use this to your advantage. Maybe you have already paid for platinum gym membership, but a guilt trip is not a positive energy space. However, if you have put time and effort into getting your kit ready and making a protein smoothie, there is a more immediate cost to not following through, and the preparation makes it easier to get yourself out the door. Have you noticed how people who cut you up in traffic are complete idiots, but when you run a red light it was an understandable accident? Other people do great things because they are amazing people, but when you succeed, maybe it was just luck? Play about with a third-person perspective. Do you see yourself as the type of person who goes running? If you see it more as a one-off, your sofa to 5K plan will lack a certain je ne sais quoi. Let the consistent small actions you take daily build a picture of you as someone who has the lifestyle you want. Who you hang out with has enormous impact. If your peer group is a bunch of biscuit-hoovering lager louts, then your plan to be a health freak will be considerably less popular than if you hang out with the local kale-smoothie-drinking running club members. What you really, truly want The final question is whether you actually, truly want the goal. Do you know how much work will be involved? What would you have to sacrifice? Life is a balance. Getting rock-hard abs will take a lot of work. If youd prefer to spend time with your family, then please choose a more realistic goal. Actively choosing what you actually want means you can let go of the goals that arent serving you and stop pretending which would be a relief for those around you, too. If you really do want that goal in all its messy glory, think about using a coach to support you. A coach will help you think about the type of goal you are setting, challenge you on loopholes in your thinking, help you come up with an action plan, and hold you accountable to the steps you need to take. Take heart, its not too late to resolve NOT to make any new years resolutions ever again. Ask yourself some searching questions and set some high-performance, process-driven goals instead. Then turn resolving into actually doing. This article, plus my top tips for turning resolutions into powerful goals, is published on my coaching website at www.ajetlife.com * Your secrets are safe with me, Dave, Mike and Sarah. LI F E COACH I N G Now, what did I do with my new years resolutions?