Living With The Enemy

LIVING WITH THE ENEMY We look at how dealing with the mental health of a loved one while flying can bring many challenges Submitted anonymously by a BALPA member I’m not a trained psychiatrist, and mental illness is insidious and difficult to spot. My wife started to become ill in 2002, but I didn’t recognise it. We’d begun to realise there was something wrong with our older son some years before, which would eventually result in a diagnosis of autism, and we were both struggling to deal with his problems and the consequences these had on our family. The daily strain had put distance between us. This was probably the initial trigger for my wife, but there was other stuff – to do with her childhood – that was surfacing, which, at that time, I didn’t know about. By mid-2003 though, it was becoming evident something was wrong. She’d seen the doctor and was on low-grade antidepressants, having counselling, and becoming unusually interested in evangelical religion. Then, one morning in October, my son came into the bedroom and said: “I think Mummy’s unwell.” Downstairs, she’d made a nest of blankets, and tried – fairly ineffectually – to cut herself. But, far more seriously, she had taken about 40 paracetamol tablets. That will kill you, but it’s a slow and painful way to go – luckily there’s an antidote that will probably save you if taken in the first 24 hours. I’m told the NHS mental health services have improved, but back then the institution was a grim and dismal place where mental health nurses delivered the majority of the care, with little contact with a THROUGHOUT, I CONTINUED FLYING. I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE – psychiatrist. Another overdose Discharged over the Christmas holidays, it was my other son who found her this DEALING WITH AN ILL WIFE AND time: she’d taken an overdose of sedatives. AUTISTIC CHILD WAS DRAINING AND EXHAUSTING, BUT GOING TO WORK AND ASSOCIATING WITH ‘NORMAL’ PEOPLE WAS AN ESCAPE FROM THE Luckily, I’d signed her up to the company’s private health insurance and so was able to get her admitted to a private institution, where the psychiatrist described her condition as ‘floridly psychotic’*. Initially aggressive treatment followed that stopped MADNESS OF THE CHAOTIC HOME LIFE the progress of her condition, and started to turn her around. The cost was eye watering, but I only paid the excess on the policy. An initial quick improvement in her condition was followed by long years of treatment as she came off the powerful anti-psychotic medications and transitioned to talking therapies. Initially labelled as schizophrenic**, the diagnosis was downgraded to a ‘transient psychotic episode’. Throughout this, I continued flying – but I probably shouldn’t have. Dealing with an ill wife and autistic child was draining and exhausting, but going to work and associating with ‘normal’ people was an escape from the madness of that chaotic home life. And now? My wife appears well, and is no longer on medication or undergoing counselling, but you are always watchful. I describe it as like walking along a cliff-edge path. Provided you put each foot in the right place, there’s no problem, but a moment’s inattention – and you place your foot in the wrong place – you risk falling off the cliff. ● *Psychosis: a condition where the sufferer senses things (such as visions, voices, feelings of being touched) that aren’t real. ● *Schizophrenia: episodes of psychosis, interspersed with periods of remission, followed by lapses back into periods of psychosis. MENTAL HEALTH LIVING WITH THE ENEMY LIVING WITH THE ENEMY We look at how dealing with the mental health of a loved one while flying can bring many challenges LIVING WITH THE ENEMY We look at how dealing with the mental health of a loved one while flying can bring many challenges By Captain Chris Leech, Log Board Deputy Chief Editor