OPINION Checklist complete Ah! The Bristow Tiger or AS 332L for the more technically minded. When one spends 20 years and nearly 10,000 flying hours in almost daily contact with a flying machine, is it possible that its memory does not stir the emotions? I will never again climb up the side to inspect the rotor head. Or slump gratefully back into the sanctuary of my cockpit after a windblown refuel on an offshore deck. But retirement cannot stop the dreams which are indelibly etched into my mind where I seem to be preparing to fly once more. They spill over into my sleep... True, I talk of dreams, Which are the children of an idle brain, Begot of nothing but vain fantasy, Which is as thin of substance as the air And more inconstant than the wind, who woos Even now the frozen bosom of the north (Whod ever have guessed that the Bard was familiar with the East Shetland Basin in winter? Why not? Hed never been to Italy or Egypt either). Sadly, in these dreams I can never find my flying kit and wake up panicking! It took me ages to become a useful pilot. The aha! moment was realising the machines had been designed for the air, and I hadnt. My constant fiddling with the controls simply disturbed their natural stability. So I stopped interfering and learned to input polite suggestions instead, trusting the aircraft or helicopter to comply. On a six-hour haul around the North Sea, this release of energy let me better appreciate the privileged view and monitor the flights progress. Its a blessing to become intimately acquainted with a highly complex flying machine. People ridicule Moray Pickering / aviationphotocompany.com By Clive Roberts, The Log board member my claim that helicopters have a conscious intelligence. My beloved Tigers appreciated the compliments I gave them; over vast tracts of the North Sea, the twin mighty Makilas never even coughed. The baggage bay was perhaps a more modest component of my Tigers multifaceted personality, and demanded particular care during the many offshore landings. I will tell you why. We hopped between several decks, dropping off and picking up people and freight. The various handlers would load bags into the cavernous front bays haphazardly, and those bays would bulk out before exceeding weight limitations. But the tail cone is more lightly built and exerts a large turning moment, so baggage put there is limited to 120lbs. Then that section is quarantined not a pennyweight more allowed. Despite briefings, however, harried deck crews down the route would try to stuff the tail full. Too late to discover on take-off that the aircraft pitches up uncontrollably (lesser, but regular, overloading of the tail could perhaps eventually lead to fatigue failure for an unsuspecting, innocent crew). The baggage bay door at the main fuselages rear opens to provide three steps for the baggage loader to climb up like the entrance steps to a private jet, but not quite so posh. His torso would disappear up into the fuselages bowels, leaving only his boots visible. One pilot would position themselves with a good view of these boots, checking their wearer was leaning forward into the main loading bays. If they were to turn around 180 degrees to face the tail section (and they always did): gotcha! But Cap, the handler would plead, I cant get all the bags into the forward bays. So now we are turning and burning, with 18 bears on board, eager to get airborne for Aberdeen with their luggage, much of which is still sitting on the deck. And now drum roll, please (inaudible, I fear, under the thumping of the rotors) we have the Tiger crews ace-in-the-hold. The helicopter landing officer (HLO) looks forlornly at the half-dozen large holdalls left behind on the deck, destined, he despairs, to remain offshore and spoil his day. But no. I get his crew to unload (unwillingly) the forward bays, and I pack them in myself. Expertly using every cubic centimetre of available space that the handlers on previous decks had ignored. Deck now clear of bags, the HLO shakes my hand with relief and one hopes hero worship. No wonder I have back problems! 57 THE LOG Spring 25 pp56-57 Checklist.indd 57 17/03/2025 15:09