Me time making the most of your grandchildren Older motherhood has led to a rise in the proportion of older grandparents, meaning more grannies and grandads with arthritis. We look at how to maximise enjoyment of your grandchildren while protecting your wellbeing and joint health words: saRah ChiLds T heres an increasing trend for grandparents to contribute toward looking after their grandchildren, playing a our can range from occasional their kindness enhances part thatreLationship to virtually full-time care. Even if you arent officially in charge, youll rosa booth, 68, hasinvolved with them,because it slows your down. want to get and might feel that me arthritis osteoarthritis andthis. However, there doesnt feel inadequate sometimes restricts spinal stenosis. I have to be a limit to how much pleasure you bothpractical help for relationship. up zips, mending things She provides get from this special doing her six-year-old grandson, and as they are fiddly. If I think about Qualityatime?time with her spends lot of my frustrations for too long, I Ifother two grandsons, aged seven might feel challenges that are particular you are a grandparent with arthritis, you do face sad. On better days I do to yournine. and condition. Youre not alone in this. Studies tell us that most grandparents with masses washing, preparing arthritis share these concerns. I play with them as much meals, gardening. My grandsons as possible, and I do things I are so willing to help. When Practicalbecause I know theyre were playing ball, or when I need shouldnt issues Manual tasks, unsurprisingly, top the list of challenges. Lifting children,get it Granny not going to be small forever. tools theyll say: Ill changing nappies and walking children to school are common obstacles for those they show My attitude is just get on with Rosa! The kindness heavily involved in childcare. Preparing meals and dressing children are tricky, as dexterity it, but the arthritis is annoying me enhances our relationship. isrequired youll know this if youve had to constructcomplicated valve cups or do up tiny buttons. If you have to travel to see your grandchildren, a long car journey can seem like a huge hurdle, so try to break it up and take plenty of rest stops. Fatigue, stiffness and paincan all restrict your ability to keep up with young family members. their kindness enhances our reLationship Emotional issues Feelings of guilt and frustration might arise if you cant do everything youd like to with your grandchildren. Even if youre just having a bad day, its understandable to feel sad about it. Explaining arthritis Many people find that it helps to talk to youngsters about their arthritis. Children are perceptive, and may naturally accept that there are things you cant do. Lending some understanding asto why can be reassuring and reinforces the pointthat, when you cant join in, it isnt because youdont want to. For younger children, it is usually enough to explain what parts of your body are affected and how. Older children can engage in a more frank conversation. Honesty and simplicity offer the best approach. If you are happy with ongoing discussions, be clear that you are open to questions. There are benefits to this increased understanding. When a person has arthritis, families frequently express greater empathy, are closer, and children demonstrate a heightened consideration of others needs. Take a fresh approach There is no manual for spending time with your grandchildren. Dont feel you have to adhere to the typical grandparent formula of kicking a ball around the garden, or getting down on the floor with building blocks. Adaptation and flexibility are essential. If you provide daily care for young children, its essential that you make the most of your good days. Dr Pippa Watson, consultant rheumatologist at the University Hospital of South Manchester, advises: Pace your activities throughout the week, scheduling in a rest if you have been busy with grandchildren. Make a game of domestic chores. Themed games can be fun, such as a colour challenge tidying up toys according to colour, or sweeping up before a buzzer goes off. Looking after yourself will give you the most energy to look after or play with your grandchildren, says Dr Watson. This means sleeping well, keeping fit and maintaining an ideal body weight. And remember, it is the relationship that your grandchild will cherish, not how much running around you do. Play doesnt have to be physical. Obvious alternatives are reading, singing, and board games. If you want to be involved in a physical activity, you can be the headquarters in a spy game, sending your grandchildren out on missions, or go swimming so there is less pressure on your joints. If you are unsure about the impact of an activity, speak to your healthcare provider. Issues can be dealt with as they arise, or you can do some research. Arthritis charities have excellent resources that can be accessed online or ordered, adds Dr Watson. GPs, your rheumatology team, physiotherapists and occupational therapists will be happy to guide you and, because they know your particular condition and situation, they can tailor their recommendations. Looking after yourself will give you the most energy to look after or play with your grandchildren,